Halloween

Uncanny Valley of the Dolls in 4D

29 October 2019

And here it is, suddenly the High Holiday is upon us. Seems my initial InkTober steam has run out, although partially it was to get a Halloween comic ready in time. As usual, the theory of “make quick comics for holidays” evolved into a complicated test of comic fortitude as I continue feeling out this ink wash angle. It was incredibly fun to do.

At Finster’s tonight it’s attack of the scary dolls and doll related entities. Who are these strange, stunted spooks? I AM GLAD YOU ASKED AS HERE IS A HANDY KEY I MADE FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE FOR YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH:

Uncanny Map of the Dolls in 15D

  1. Pinhead from Puppet Master (1989): I’ve never seen this movie but have been aware of it since it came out. The aggressively possessed puppets of André Toulon.
  2. Tunneler from Puppet Master (1989): I should find it and watch it. The concept disturbs me.
  3. Blade from Puppet Master (1989): And stop motion for the win am I right?
  4. Fats from Magic (1978): I watched this movie years ago and the preview still creeps me out. The movie is equally unsettling.
  5. Chucky from Child’s Play (1988): Another character from the age when horror movie creeps could get a run of films with deteriorating value without much effort. Not a slam.
  6. Pinocchio from……Pinocchio (1940): I’m sure there is someone, somewhere who finds Pinocchio scary. I will say any movie where a boy turns into a donkey and never turns back is clearly the type of thing that sits in a kid’s subconscious for a long time.
  7. Tiffany from Bride of Chucky (1998): You have to admire the legs that the concept of “The Bride of….” has had over the years in movies.
  8. Otto from The Great Gabbo (1929): Safe to say the first freaky puppet of film. Arguably the great-great-great-great-grandfather of…
  9. Billy from Saw (2004): The latest real iconic doll. You see that face and you know you’re gonna have a bad day. Although you will spend half as much on shoes from now on.
  10. Brick Bardo from Dollman (1991): Okay technically a real person, but the right size and it’s in the name.
  11. Robert the haunted doll: The real deal and the most well known. Ironically the most innocent looking of the group but with the most frightening reputation.
  12. Annabelle the haunted doll: Two things to know about the haunted doll in the movie franchise – one, she is real and two, she looks nothing like that freaky prop. She is actually a Raggedy Ann Doll. Which honestly is way more scary if you take even five minutes to think about it.
  13. Zuni fetish doll from The Trilogy of Terror (1975): The most terrifying of the bunch, hands down. Brought to life from Richard Matheson‘s short story Prey. If you have ever seen this this detestable thing running around shrieking it is burned into your brain. High grade nightmare fuel. Find it and watch it. Why should i bear this burden alone?
  14. The clown doll from Poltergeist (1982): Next to the melting face the most upsetting part of that movie. From the first look you knew this little creep was going to do something horrible before the end credit. What decent parent would even buy this for a kid? Child abuse is what it is.
  15. Talky Tina from the Twilight Zone episode Living Doll (1963): This is why I don’t buy my kids any toys with a face. You want to end up like Telly Savalas? Then don’t buy dolls and for God’s sake don’t join the Russian army and board a train with a prehistoric creature in a big wooden box. It’s just common sense people.

If you’re up for more Hallow-skroode-een check out the Halloween archive yonder.

So Oíche Shamhna Shona Duit. Keep the gold chain on the doll.

Creeps creeped out by a creepy creeping creeper

28 October 2016

‘Tis that time of year. The best time if we were all being honest.

For the third year I’ll be walking with the kids on our annual trick or treat walkabout dressed as Jack Skellington. If you have never dressed as Jack on Halloween you owe it to yourself to do so. It’s like being Santa on Christmas. Strangers all around waving, saying hello, high fives – you’re welcomed by everyone.

It’s the bestest.

And remember: someone is out there looking out for us this time of year.

FAT SACK OF SCARY No. 5

29 October 2015

I do not claim to be a well read man. I mean I read a lot. But 75% of the words I cram into my head would be hard pressed to be described as ‘high literature’. Still, The Pearl fills me with dread to this day.

I didn’t dislike reading the books that were assigned in general, varying from enjoying them to whatever-let’s-just-get-through-this. But there were a rare few that were a trudge to complete and left me praying for a quick end. Generally Steinbeck fell into that category. But that’s life. One minute you’re holding a priceless product of an irritated mollusk; the next you’re putting a bullet into your best friend next to the river. Or at least that’s what I got out of it.

Halloween is upon us. An all too brief time of crisp autumn air, haunted streets, and creepy joy. Enjoy.

Happy Halloween.

A hero for our time

21 November 2014

My favorite time of year is autumn. I’m a huge fan of Halloween and look forward to Thanksgiving. And who doesn’t fancy a nice Hop-tu-Naa?

I like Christmas. I think I used to look forward to it more than I do now. Part of that is the waaaaay early start of the commercials, decorations, and so on not to mention the Black Friday Frenzy. It starts so early it’s hard to keep up the joy in it two months later. I suppose there is also some resentment that Thanksgiving and more often these days Halloween are getting pushed aside sooner to make way for El Clause. I saw trees in the store the week of Halloween, the pumpkins and skeletons pushed to the end caps like embarrassing relatives. That’s why we need Captain Thanksween right now.

The Captain girds for the good fight sporting an array of autumn talismans:

  • The obligatory pilgrim hat
  • Jack-o-lantern head
  • Pilgrim cape, pants, and cuffs
  • Fall leaf sigil on chest
  • Cornocopagun
  • And of course, Snake Plisskin’s eyepatch, shirt, and boots.

Years ago it seemed that Escape from New York was on during the Thanksgiving week every year for a few years. We came to think of it as ‘The Thanksgiving Movie’. I would later learn it wasn’t just me – I’ve met others with the same memories. So to this day I usually watch it before Thanksgiving.

So this year be thankful. That you don’t live in an abandoned city-prison surrounded by thirty foot walls with armed guards. And your family or whatever.